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The Duchess of Sussex tackled the topics of parenthood and being a good mother and partner in her latest episode of Archetypes, her podcast series. The episode, titled, Good Wife/Bad Wife, Good Mom/Bad Mom with Sophie Trudeau, Pamela Adlon and Sam Jay, saw Meghan delving into a discussion regarding the expectations women who are mothers and partners face.
And these pressures come not just from society but are also often self-imposed, Meghan said during a discussion with author Dr Shefali Tsabary.
The guest expert on the podcast series said: “We have fallen into this trap that we, as modern women, can do anything. Now, that sounds like a liberating message but it’s not so liberating, I would go as far and boldly to say it is toxic.
“We are falling into these misguided beliefs about who we should be, these personas of perfectionism and grandiose delusion that we can do it all.
“The pendulum swings the other way to great self-abnegation, loathing and shame, that’s the other side of that pendulum.
“So the goal is not to not guilt ourselves or shame ourselves, the goal is to get out of that pendulum swinging madness altogether.”
Meghan chimed in to say: “And if we could just get off of that pendulum. Get off this constant rollercoaster. We can take Dr Shefali’s next piece of advice to heart.”
The author added: “Don’t destroy your essence for this illusion of perfectionism or image of the good wife or good mother, because those are just images.
“The best mother and the best woman you can be is the authentic one, the one deeply connected to our own knowing.
READ MORE: Meghan shares insights on raising her children
“That doesn’t take effort, that takes stillness, it takes quiet and relaxation.
“Most women in their 50s and 60s have learned this and we want to share it with women in their 30s and 40s and say ‘Hey, I overdid it, I burnt out, it got me nowhere, thank goodness I am still alive to tell the tale, don’t do what I did it is a pursuit of an illusion.”
The Duchess then invited her guests to listen on, saying: “So what do you say we find out what happens when we step outside of the moulds that don’t fit and we stop buying into this illusion.”
She added: “In this episode, we are digging into the roles that women play of wives, mums, caretakers, and really thinking about how do we break out the limiting versions that society has carved out for us and settle into the layered, complex and fullest versions of our own truths.
“How can we shift the roles that we play, the expectations that we set, for ourselves and for each others.”
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During her show, Meghan also spoke with Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, a philanthrope and wife of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
Introducing her long-time friend, who she first met when she was living in Toronto as a cast member of US legal drama Suits, Meghan mentioned the pair share a knowledge of what it means to be a mum and wife in the public eye.
She said: “Sophie isn’t just a wife, or a First Lady. She is the type of person who cares really deeply about her friends.
“She used to send these little meditations during my pregnancy and voice notes, just these moments of encouragement.
“And I have gone to her over the years for advice. She knows what it feels like to be a mum, and a partner, and specifically a mum and a partner in the public eye.
“And also, how crushing the guilt of expectation can become.”
Mrs Trudeau can be then heard saying this guilt experienced by mothers and partners is often “self-imposed”.
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